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Old Voice

Earlier essays, written in an earlier voice — kept here because they still hold up, even if I'd say it differently today.

Old Voice January 2026

A New Beginning

I wanted to know what it would feel like to start over from that quiet place

2 min read Read
Old Voice December 2025

I Traded You for a Ghost

I chose being alone over being with you, and I'm still not sure it was the right trade.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2025

Don't Follow Me

I keep showing you the version of me I've polished, and I don't know how to stop.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2025

The Lady in White

I watched a stranger on the train and built an entire life for her in my head before she ever looked up.

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 2025

This Unpredictable Life

I keep colliding with strangers and moments I never saw coming, and somehow that's the whole point.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2025

Kissing Today

I had to choose between chasing an old memory, dreaming of a future and staying here.

1 min read Read
Old Voice May 2025

Half Full, Half Empty

I keep staring at the same glass, unable to decide which version of us I actually believe.

1 min read Read
Old Voice April 2025

Shifting Lens

The choices I once regretted look completely different depending on which day I examine them.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2025

Mirror

I finally looked past my own reflection and saw something I'd been avoiding.

1 min read Read
Old Voice January 2025

From Stranger to Soulmate

I still remember the exact moment you stopped being someone I didn't know.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2024

The Pale Blue Dot

Knowing how small our planet really is somehow made the love I have here feel bigger, not smaller.

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 2024

Echoes of Lost Dreams

I keep hearing what my dreams used to sound like before life got louder.

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 2023

This is Life

I stopped needing applause to believe my life meant something.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2023

Eternal Embrace

I've started to believe love and loss were never really separate from each other.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2023

Stupid Love

I built an entire relationship in my head from one glance at a stranger, and I'm not even a little sorry.

3 min read Read
Old Voice April 2022

Let it be

Every morning I try, badly and repeatedly, to put yesterday's regrets down before I pick them back up.

2 min read Read
Old Voice March 2022

Life - Yet Another View

I went looking through history for an answer to what life is actually for, and came back with more questions.

5 min read Read
Old Voice March 2022

God

Reading Dawkins made me argue with my own beliefs more honestly than I have in years.

2 min read Read
Old Voice March 2022

Maya

Thinking about how small we are in the universe somehow makes me care more about the people in front of me, not less.

3 min read Read
Old Voice January 2022

Corona Virus - A Love Story

I started thinking of the pandemic as a dangerous lover none of us asked to fall for.

3 min read Read
Old Voice January 2022

Dark Love

A stranger's glance on a crowded train pulled something out of me I wasn't expecting.

3 min read Read
Old Voice September 2021

Love

I keep believing in love stories that, so far, have mostly ended in me being alone.

3 min read Read
Old Voice July 2021

The Morning

Every day the river renews itself, and I keep wondering if I'm capable of

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2021

Tajmahal

Standing in front of a monument built for love, I couldn't help wondering what I'd build for mine.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2021

Maggie

A dog chasing attention at the pool reminded me how simple wanting to be

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2021

Await ..

I'm holding onto hope even when everything in me feels exhausted by waiting for it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2021

House of Emotions

I keep letting the loudest feeling in the room win, and I'm trying to understand why.

1 min read Read
Old Voice January 2021

The Relationship Quandary

I've stopped expecting certainty from this relationship and started trying

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2020

Dream Girl

I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship, and then, somehow, I

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2020

Awakening

I let go of wanting things, and something quieter finally had room to show up.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2020

Darkness of the Night

I still get haunted, some nights, by someone who isn't here anymore.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2020

Life Philosophies

I keep making the same list of things I'm trying to let go of, and I keep needing to make it again.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2020

Seesaw

This ended, and I still haven't figured out how to stop feeling the tilt of it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2019

Those were the days

I keep going back, in my head, to a version of love that was simpler than I knew at the time.

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2019

She

There's a presence that shows up in my quietest moments and somehow makes them feel less alone.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2019

Broken

I watched someone who once seemed unstoppable slowly become someone age could reach.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2019

Lost

I'm watching someone I love struggle to recognize the life she's standing in.

1 min read Read
Old Voice May 2019

25

I keep wondering who's actually holding the reins of the life I think I'm steering.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2019

Life Explained

I went looking for one clean definition of life and, unsurprisingly, never found it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2018

Shadowed love

I've been keeping a companion no one else can see, and it never quite leaves.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2018

Moments

I keep collecting the tiny moments that, without me noticing, ended up defining everything.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2017

The Road

I'm standing at a fork between the quiet path and the crowded one, and I still haven't picked.

1 min read Read
Old Voice January 2017

The Mansion

Behind all that visible wealth, I noticed something quietly falling apart that no one else seemed to see.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2016

I want to sing a song

I just want someone to actually hear me, not just listen.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2016

Strawberry Honey

I lost myself completely in one dance, one moment, with you.

1 min read Read
Old Voice April 2016

Whisper of Love

We didn't need words on that walk, and I still think about the silence.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2016

Cold Water

The shock of jumping in was nothing compared to how good it felt once I stopped resisting it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2015

Sitting in a Crowded Train

I watched the rain and the strangers around me and lost track of which thoughts

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2015

Beautiful Dear

I keep finding new moments in the day to remind you how much you mean to me.

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 2015

Into the Wilderness

Stepping into the unknown terrified me right up until it didn't.

1 min read Read
Old Voice June 2015

Shades of Tree

I found more comfort under one tree on a hot day than I expected from anything else that week.

1 min read Read
Old Voice February 2015

Departed

Grief showed up the same week as a stack of mundane errands, and she had to hold both at once.

1 min read Read
Old Voice January 2015

Dreams of Hope

I keep circling back to a love that once felt promising and never quite resolved.

1 min read Read
Old Voice November 2014

Those Lazy Days

I miss the version of us that had nowhere better to be than a rooftop.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2014

Threshold

She was standing right at the edge of something new, and yet she was not sure if she was ready.

1 min read Read
Old Voice December 2013

The Invite

The diagnosis came, and so did an anger I didn't know I was capable of.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2013

Signature

I keep wondering what mark I'm actually leaving behind, and whether anyone will notice it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice February 2013

Utopia

I'm tired of chasing a version of hope that keeps turning out to be false.

1 min read Read
Old Voice February 2013

Our Strange World

I can feel us drifting further apart, even sitting in the same room.

1 min read Read
Old Voice November 2012

That Little Moment

There's one moment I keep replaying that never quite resolves itself.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2012

Be a Good Little Monkey

My toddler's mischief today reminded me how much joy there is in not taking any of this too seriously.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2012

The Ghost

Watching the sunset, I could have sworn I felt you standing right beside me again.

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2012

Glimmer of Hope

One embrace was enough to convince me the passion hadn't actually gone anywhere.

1 min read Read
Old Voice March 2012

15

We're still going through the motions of something that stopped meaning what it used to.

1 min read Read
Old Voice January 2012

An elephant wins a friend

I wrote about a lonely elephant looking for a friend in the city, and I'm not sure who I was really writing about.

2 min read Read
Old Voice October 2011

Strangers

We're bound together by circumstance, and somehow that's not the same as being close.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2011

Wrinkles on the face

She looked in the mirror and had to make peace with everything the lines on here face were keeping score of.

2 min read Read
Old Voice June 2011

Waiting for Her

I woke up to a relationship I almost didn't recognize anymore.

1 min read Read
Old Voice May 2011

Reflection

I sat still long enough to actually notice the rain, the wind, and the light changing.

1 min read Read
Old Voice April 2011

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I can feel two very different versions of myself fighting for the same seat.

1 min read Read
Old Voice December 2010

The Shrine of Disney

The anticipation leading up to that trip turned out to be its own kind of magic.

2 min read Read
Old Voice October 2010

Break up

I watched my parents' marriage end as a kid, and I'm still sorting through what that left behind.

2 min read Read
Old Voice September 2010

The Drunkard

Everyone else could see it before I let myself admit how far gone I actually was.

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 2010

Growing Apart

I can trace the exact moment our priorities stopped lining up.

1 min read Read
Old Voice May 2010

Living the Dead Life

I keep chasing the next stage of life instead of actually living the one

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2009

One Way Street

I'm raising a child while time keeps moving in a direction I can't reverse, and I feel every bit of that.

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2009

Angry

I'm angry at the world, at other people, and honestly, mostly at myself.

1 min read Read
Old Voice September 2008

First Day at School

I was more nervous than my kid was on their first day of school, and I'm still not over it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2007

Frozen Tears

I can't shake what happened to a child who never should have had to endure it.

1 min read Read
Old Voice August 2007

Perfect Partner

I found the one place I can fully exhale, and it's whenever I'm with you.

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 2003

Memory

I still set two cups of coffee out of habit, long after only needing one.

1 min read Read
Old Voice December 2002

Little World

At nine months old, apparently, I already had opinions about everything.

1 min read Read
Old Voice November 2001

You and Me

The whole world keeps changing around us, and somehow we're the one constant I can count on.

1 min read Read
Old Voice February 2001

What have you done for me?

One careless sentence from someone I loved is still living rent-free in my head.

1 min read Read
Old Voice February 2000

Made for Each Other

We were supposed to fit, and I'm still trying to understand why we never

1 min read Read
Old Voice October 1999

In love with Loneliness

Loneliness has become such a familiar companion that I'm not sure I know

1 min read Read
Old Voice July 1999

Death

I've started to think of death less as an ending to fear and more as a destination

1 min read Read
Old Voice November 1997

Falling in Love

One unplanned encounter and, before I knew it, we were sharing a kiss neithern of us expected.

2 min read Read
Old Voice August 1997

If Only ..

I never told you how I felt, and now I just carry the "what if.

1 min read Read
Old Voice December 1996

Memories of Another Day

I keep getting pulled back into people and places I thought I'd already left

1 min read Read