We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere. To practice death is to practice freedom
Daily Thoughts
Small thoughts, as they come
Short notes too small for an essay. One at a time, newest first.
Many schools teach that we must control our thoughts, but if the mind is what we’d be controlling, then who is the one doing the controlling? Meditation and similar tools aim at peace, yet life brings good, bad, and ugly regardless of how well we manage our minds. In the end, whether we strive, surrender, or accept, life runs like a giant probability model, and we simply live within it
Bundling saves money and feels convenient, but it fails exactly when you need help. When I shared both my business and my life with one person, a problem on one side spread to the other, and when my Expedia-booked flight was delayed, United sent me back to Expedia and Expedia had no answer. Bundled systems let each party point at the other in a crisis, so I’m leaning toward keeping things separate, starting with my phone and my carrier.
What began as playful, random writing gradually turned into a record of my unhappiness and my dreams of a perfect life, until those dreams failed and pushed me toward the big questions of who I am and what life is for. Along the way I found my voice in a simple realization: life has no grand purpose beyond the living itself, and its uncertainty is something to accept rather than fight. My writing now reflects that, embracing every moment, the joy and the tears alike
Every conversation has four parts: what I say, what you hear, what I meant to say, and what you understood. The first two are the visible facts, while the gap between intent and interpretation happens behind the scenes, which is why we so often talk past each other without realizing it.
All my life I have loved others, but I have never experienced anyone being crazy for me, not in childhood, not in my marriage, not even now at this age. I understand why, since people choose the best they can find and I was never any of that, and I don’t hold it against anyone. Still, it is the sad part of my story that I may reach the end without ever knowing what it feels like to be truly loved.
Certainty is just uncertainty that stopped asking questions.